I will try to be as clear as possible.

In our society, we often feel that “networking” is a dirty word. It feels transactional, selfish, and sometimes, it feels like cheating. But this guilt usually comes from a clash between how we were raised and how the modern world actually works.

Culture vs. Corporate

We are raised on values of humility and faith. We are taught that if we keep our heads down and do good work, we will be rewarded. The script is simple: “Work hard in silence, and let success make the noise.”

However, the corporate world runs on a different engine. It runs on efficiency (visibility and leverage).

The conflict arises because many of us view networking through the lens of corruption. We confuse a professional referral with the old-school concept of “Sifarish” (using influence to bypass rules).

The “Meritocracy Trap”

Many of us hold a belief that merit is absolute. We think that if we are truly capable, the employer is obligated to find us. We tell ourselves, “If I have to ‘sell’ myself, it means my work isn’t good enough on its own.”

This is the Meritocracy Trap.

The flaw in this thinking is that it assumes the job market is perfect. It assumes hiring managers are all-knowing gods who are aware of every smart, hardworking person in existence.

The reality is much messier:

  • Hiring managers are busy, stressed, and often overwhelmed.
  • They don’t always hire the absolute best person in the world.
  • They hire the least risky person they can find quickly.

The Difference: Recommendation vs. Corruption

This is the most important distinction we need to make to get over the guilt. There is a massive difference between “networking” and “nepotism.”

1. The “corruption” we hate (Nepotism/Force): This is when an influential uncle calls a favor to get a relative a job they aren’t qualified for. It involves:

  • Skipping the hard interviews.
  • Lowering the standards so the person passes.
  • Forcing HR to hire someone who is incapable.
  • This is unfair, and you are right to hate it.

2. The “networking” you need (Referrals): This is when a peer tells a hiring manager, “I know this person, they work hard, and you should take a look at them.”

  • It does not guarantee the job.
  • It does not make the interview easier.
  • It simply ensures your resume gets read instead of lost in a pile of 500 others.

Why Managers Love Referrals

When you ask for a referral, you aren’t begging. You are solving a problem for the company.

Imagine a manager needs to hire someone. They have two options:

  1. Hire a complete stranger from the internet who might be great, or might be terrible.
  2. Interview someone recommended by a trusted employee.

A recommendation acts as a trust verification. It tells the employer: “This person is not a stranger who might be crazy or lazy; they are a known entity.”

Conclusion

Stop waiting for the universe to discover you. The world is too loud, and everyone is too busy.

Raising your hand and saying, “I am here, and I am good at what I do,” is not arrogance. It is simply helping the people who need your skills find you.

  • Nepotism is demanding a seat you didn’t earn.
  • Networking is just making sure the door is unlocked so you can walk in and prove you deserve the seat.